22 Oct 2017

"If you can't see the sunshine, be the sunshine"

This is one of my all time favourite quotes, one I try to live by and remind myself of every day. I think spreading happiness, positivity and kindness is so so important. I know what it feels like to be around someone every day who is always moody and sends out such bad vibes with just a single look. We all have our bad days but I believe they shouldn't have any influence on how we treat others. 

The other day in work someone told me I was 'a breath of fresh air' and honestly, this was the best compliment ever. I would die happy if I left the legacy of being a breath of fresh air. 

I don't think I would always have been called this. Definitely not back in my secondary school days. It's not that I was a grump or anything, I just kept myself to myself. I didn't make any real effort to be kind to others and I honestly didn't worry too much about how others were feeling, or care about cheering them up. I guess that's just teenagers for you - self obsessed! 

But as I've grown older, spreading positivity and kindness has become more of a priority to me. I empathise with others more, I am more conscious about how others are feeling and I genuinely want to make them smile and make their day a bit brighter, even just for a minute. I thought I would write a little list on how I try to 'be the sunshine'


This is a very cliché one but it's probably the most important. Smiling is key. I know when someone smiles at me and says hello, it makes me smile and makes me that little bit happier. It definitely beats pretending not to even see them. I make sure to greet and smile at everyone in work when I see them first in the mornings. Also, just try be more smiley in general. This can be hard, especially when you're having a bad day but if you try to smile and have a happy vibe you usually end up feeling a bit happier too. 


If you see someone struggling offer them a hand, they will really appreciate it, I know I do when others help me and when I see people helping each other, it gives me the warm fuzzies - sounds so cheesy I know. I just love when people are selfless and thoughtful.


Be a little personal. Open up about your own life. Let a collegue know about that embarrassing thing that happened to you at the weekend. Go on, it will give them a laugh. Be fun and witty, be carefree, don't hold back, crack a joke and have a laugh even if it's at your own expense. 


Showing an interest in other peoples lives is so important. If they tell you about something they are going to be doing at the weekend, show you remember and ask them about it on Monday. Notice the good things in people and let them know - like that girl who told me I was a breath of fresh air, or another woman in work who told me I had a lovely smile. Those compliments were so touching and they didn't need to tell me. 

There are a million other things you can do to spread some positivity but they are the main ones that spring to mind for me. Be sure to let me know in the comments what you think are good ways to make others smile.

Sinéad x
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18 Oct 2017

"Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel"

Oh Pinterest, you have an amazing ability to verbalise my thoughts. This quote pretty much sums up my life these past couple of weeks. I have been so indecisive, constantly torn between my heart and my head and finding myself doing something I've never done before - writing pros and cons lists, numerous times and they haven't really helped any time. There is annoyingly an even number of pros and cons. Every time I think of a pro I immediately think of a con, and vice versa. 

How does one make decisions when the mind is so muddled?

One of the main cons is 'What would everyone think?' This is the main thing holding me back and I am so angry with myself for worrying about this because I was really getting over having a mindframe that worries about what people think, which I mentioned in this post. I just know that so many people would judge me and think I am crazy because I already know their thoughts on it.
But the heart wants what the heart wants, that's what they say right? and I can't help but feel in my gut that if I did go somewhere with this it could be amazing and I could be really happy. But then there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work. Ugh.

I know I'm being very cryptic but I hope you guys know what I mean and can empatise with my dilemma and what is going on in my mind/heart.  I'm not entirely sure why I am writing this blog post, it's not very beneficial to anyone, I have no lesson or advice. These are just some feelings and I do love to write about my feelings on here.

Please do let me know if you understand what I am talking about. Do you have any advice for me? Should I go with my gut or listen to logic?

Sinéad x
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15 Oct 2017

This sounds like a very harsh title but bear with me - it's not! What I mean is no one apart from your family and very close friends really care about what you're doing. 

For the longest time I have been so worried about what other people think about me. Sometimes, people I rarely speak to or random Facebook 'friends'. I would think carefully about everything I post to Facebook in fear of what others might think. 

I used to be so worried about what old school friends might think about what I've been doing with my life since we left school, what I'm working at, who I'm dating etc. 

Nearly every decision I made in life was somewhat influenced by how it would look to other people, would they judge me for it? Would they be talking about me and my decisions? I cared far too much about what these people, people I didn't even really care about, would think. 

Then on one faithful day I was watching Doireann Garrihy's snapchats (add her @doireanngarrihy) she's a radio host and literally the funniest gal I know, such a down to earth babe. She was talking about a piece of advice that her father gave to her when she was worried about what people would think about her. He said, I'm paraphrasing - 'Love, no one gives a feck about ya, they're too busy thinking about themselves'

That clicked with me - it's so true! No one really does care about what you are doing, yeah maybe they will think about it for a fraction of a second and pass their judgement, but then they will carry on with their own life and their own business and probably worry about what people are thinking of them. It's silly really.

So here's to doing whatever the hell we like and being confident in our own decisions and situations because once you're happy and not hurting anyone, then what else matters really?

Sinéad x
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11 Oct 2017

For as long as I can remember, which is back to the beginning of primary school I have always been really socially awkward. I think I was probably born quiet and shy but also my experiences in primary school definitely did not help. So to this day I get social anxiety. I thought I would share a list of what being socially awkward means to me...

I'm terrible at making new friends

This is probably one of the things I am worst at in life, which sucks because I believe it's one of the most important skills to have. For as long as I remember, I have been so bad at making new friends. I had one friend through the whole of primary school and I'm not really sure how I got her, we just kinda clung to each other on our first day of school and never let go. Into secondary school and university and nothing changed. This sounds so sad but I honestly had very few (if any at times) friends throughout. I have no idea why, but I find it so hard to get passed the chit chat stage and into the friendship, going out and doing things together stage. 

I hate small talk

I'm glad to say that I've gotten better at this since I starting working. I actually don't mind making small talk in the canteen with my work colleagues now but back in my school days I just could not do it. I would panic over what to say and feel like whatever I did say would sound really stupid, I usually just succumbed to awkward silences. Even though I have got better at this, there are certain situations I still hate doing small talk. Y'know, like that chit chat with your hair dresser or your taxi driver, ugh even thinking of it now breaks me out in a sweat.

I hate large groups of people

Being in a large social group is my worst nightmare. For example, whenever I've been on a night out with like 6+ people around a table all socialising together, I become a dummy. I cannot speak. No seriously, I physically cannot contribute to the conversation. On nights out, I need to have a partner. One friend to stick with. One I can turn to and chat to when I'm feeling awkward. I hate going 'on my own' and just talking to everyone as a group or mixing around with different people.

I don't like attention being on me

I feel like this is very closely related to my last point because the reason I don't like talking to large groups of people is because I don't like so many peoples attention to be on me. I will try to avoid it at all costs. I'm the person who sits in the corner chatting to the person next to her. I'm not the girl who's the life of the party and sharing stories and jokes with 10+ people, I  just can't deal. 

So there we have it, 4 reasons why I'm socially awkward. You might have guessed I'm a bit of an introvert! If you ever feel like this too I would love to hear from you because sometimes I am convinced that I am just really odd and everyone else is outgoing and cool. Please reassure me that I'm not a loser! 

Sinéad x
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4 Oct 2017

Isn't it funny how I put my blog out there for potentially the whole world to see yet there's only a select few people in my life who I will go out of my way to show it to. 99% of the people who know me personally know nothing about my blog. Only a handful of my very close friends do and I don't think any of them even read it, I have just mentioned it to them in conversation. 

I know so many bloggers share their posts on their personal Facebook pages and recruit their friends and family to help out taking pictures. I really admire them for that but it's not for me. There's something I love about keeping my blog mostly to myself. It allows it to be an escape from everyday life, somewhere I can go where I can let loose and share my thoughts freely. 

I enjoy being anonymous on my blog and I like my readers not knowing me personally, I think it makes the interactions more interesting as strangers are a lot more objective than people who know me. 

Some of my posts are very personal and I have got to admit, I would probably cringe if some people I know read some of the things I write on here. Y'know? Like that acquaintance I see every day in work but have never actually spoken too, it would be a little weird if they got to know some of my deepest thoughts while I remain knowing nothing about them. But for some reason, I'm totally okay with a complete stranger reading those thoughts, it doesn't make sense to me either!

You see, I think the thing is we all act differently with different people. There are different things we talk about with different groups of people depending on how you know them and how long you know them. We put on different 'filters'. But when I'm blogging to a group of strangers and online friends, there doesn't need to be any filter, I can just talk about whatever I want and be completely honest. 

I don't think I will ever be one to share my blog with everyone and anyone. I won't be sending the link to a guy I'm going on a first date with and I'm never going to be talking about it in too much depth with my friends and family - only if it comes up. It's not a secret but I do kind of want to keep it between myself and those I really trust, oh and the rest of the world of strangers (who often become friends) too of course. 

I would love to know what your situation is like if you blog too? Do you share your blog openly with everyone you know or are you more careful with who you let in to your online life? Do let me know in the comments below!

Sinéad x
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1 Oct 2017

Lately I have realised that I have been thinking about the past far too much. To be honest, during the week I found myself crying myself to sleep over something that happened over a year ago. It's funny because at the time, I wasn't half as upset. It's only lately it's really hitting me how wrongly I was treated and even though it's over now and I'm out of that situation, it still really upsets me and makes me angry for kind of accepting it at the time. It's like I'm having some kind of delayed reaction. The time and space has given me the perspective to realise just how bad it was.

I keep going over and over it in my head. All the little things that happened, all the cruel words and actions, all the mean and horrible things and sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve to be treated that way. It made me feel worthless, like I wasn't worthy of anything else, of anything better. A series of questions are swirling around in my brain, they go a little something like this... 'am I not worthy of what everyone else seems to be getting so easily?' 'Why did this have to happen to me?' 'Why am I so unlucky?' and 'Why am I so hard to love?'

I know that these thoughts are all wrong. That the problem wasn't with me, it was with them. But it's so hard to really make yourself believe that. Every single day I have to tell myself that I am good enough, and that I am worthy and honestly, I can't wait for the day where I wake up feeling like that and don't have to remind myself. I cant wait for the day that I can truly let go of the past. 

Sorry about how depressing this post is and how cryptic it is. Maybe I will talk about it in more detail sometime, I doubt it, but who knows. 

Sinéad x
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