The benefit of hindsight in love
Today, I was clearing out my bedroom and I found a diary I had written in at the beginning of 2015. In it, I wrote about how I was still 'in love' with a guy I was briefly seeing the summer previous. Seriously guys, this literally made me laugh out loud at myself! How ridiculous.
This sent me off on a little trip down memory lane, in particular I was thinking about my history with men. Now don't get me wrong I ain't no Taylor Swift, I could only manage to make 2 men be my boyfriend in my 24 years. But there was a couple of 'encounters' in between those relationships that I really started to think about because they were the ones that have almost taught me more going forward as a newly single girl who wants to start dating again soon-ish.
I started to think about how I behaved in these little relationships in between real relationships and guys, looking back now I honestly laugh at myself because at times I was pretty pathetic hah.
My problem is I fall 'in love' so quickly. When I really liked someone I became infatuated, I lived for their texts and dreamed of us becoming official like it would fix all of my problems. And when things would go south I would be devastated and apparently still 'In love' with them six months after they gave me the boot.
I wore rose tinted glasses and thought those people were perfect.
But now, looking back, I can see that they were not. I can see all of their flaws and traits I wouldn't like and I can finally see why they weren't right for me. So who care's if they hurt me or just ghosted on me whilst I was 'in love' with them. Because really I wasn't, the times love really developed were the times the person didn't cause so much obsession and worry in the dating stages.
I have no regrets though, because now I know how to approach dating going forward. I know not to push things, if it is meant to be it will progress naturally. I know when to let go and move on and I here-by promise myself I will never hold on to a 'love' for some douche-bag I was seeing for two months six months prior!