SLIDER

Getting Back with an EX | Is it a good idea?

First off I want to say that I don't have the answer to the above question, because there is no answer. Every situation is unique but I just felt like sharing my thoughts and experiences on the matter. If you've been following me on my blog and social media closely this year you might remember me being all heartbroken and glum back in June when my 1 year long relationship ended. You may have then seen the same guy back in insta selfies with me in September! Awks. Haha. 
The thing is, before all of this I never believed in getting back with an ex. I used to look at others who did this and think they were a little foolish. I used to think 'well if it didn't work out before, it's obviously not meant to be' Even after we broke up I was convinced I wouldn't get back with him, I was moving on, my life was fine without him and even though I thought about him every single day I had faith that this would pass and in time I would be over him. I knew I didn't need him and I was happy being single.

But then he got in touch, telling me that he still had feelings and that he wanted to meet up. At first I was so shocked, I hadn't heard from him in 3 months. This shock was soon followed by disgust, he broke up with me and now thinks he can just walk back  in to my life when he feels like it?! Eventually my annoyance and anger passed and I started thinking about meeting him. If he had done anything bad to me like cheated on me or hurt me very badly I wouldn't have considered it. He broke up with me for personal reasons but it was amicable in the end. 

As I thought more about it I realised how much I missed him. He explained everything  and told me how much he wanted me again. I laid out some ground rules and well, the rest is history. 

So here I am, being the person who I once thought was so foolish. If my friend had done the same I would have asked 'Why?', 'what if he drops you again?', 'you deserve someone who never wants to leave you', 'just move on!

And maybe all those things are right. Maybe it will happen again. Maybe I will have to go through the heartbreak of a break-up all over again when by that time I could have been totally over him and moved on if I made different choices. But the thing is, you have to go with your heart. And when I decided to get back together with him that's exactly what I did. I was willing to take the risk because I knew I still loved him and I believed that he loved me too. 

So if it does all go wrong, I won't look back and think I was stupid for taking him back. I won't be regretful because I know in my heart that at the time it's what I wanted. I would much rather get back with him because I still loved him and it not work out, than not get back with him even though I still love him because of the fear of being hurt again and then possibly spend my life wondering 'what if?' 

Things are much better this time round because we appreciate each other more. And I am less dependant on him since during our break I learned that I am ok alone. We've had many amazing times since we got back together, times I wouldn't change for the world and whatever happens I am glad I went went my heart. 

So as I said, I can't tell you if getting back with an ex is a good idea or not. It totally depends on what happened and how you feel. One thing I would recommend though is making it clear what it is you want and how you expect to be treated if you get back together. If there was something you didn't like before, mention it. Other than that, I say if it feels right then go for it. that's the only way you will find out if it's a good idea or not.

Sinéad x 
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