31 Jan 2017
Every other age, I was excited to turn. Of course, as it is for most people when they're young, every new age as a kid was very welcomed and I felt more and more grown up as the numbers increased. Above any age I remember, I was SO excited to turn 16. Partly because I was kind of addicted to 'My Super Sweet 16' at the time and it just seemed like the coolest age, I was a proper teenager then.
Since then I have been more or less welcoming of every age I turned, they were all cool and still young, none of them really worried me. But this year is different because now I am suddenly entering my mid-twenties and that freaks me out SO F*CKING much.
I look at famous and the most beautiful people like Kendall Jenner or Gigi Hadid and they are mostly all younger than me. This kind of makes me feel like I have passed my prime, that it's all down hill from here.
Also, I feel a terrible sense of fear that I am not where I should be at this age. Seriously, I keep thinking that I should be engaged, have an amazing career and living in my own place by now. But I have none of those things... I am still living with my parents! Time is going by so fast and I fear I am going to be 30 and still where I am today. I feel so much pressure. Like I got to hurry on and figure my life out. It's pretty darn scary.
Honestly, these pressures have been playing on my mind this week so much and I've been wishing I was 18 again so I could kind of 'start over' and get to where I 'should' be at 24.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves because of a number? I'm trying to convince myself that it doesn't matter what age I am, I can still achieve everything I want to. I'm reminding myself that 24 is still young, I have time, time I plan to use more wisely going forward because as I get older I realise how quickly it flies by.
Have you ever felt this way on your birthday? Also, all the 'you're still young!' comments in the world would be very welcomed and reassuring, haha!