You Are Good Enough
Do you ever feel like you are being rejected or pushed away? Is one of your best friends suddenly ignoring you and seemingly not wanting to hang out with you? This has happened to me so many times and appears to be happening to me again at the moment. There's no denying it can make you feel rubbish.
Initially, I felt like I wasn't good enough. Perhaps I'm simply not fun enough to hang out with or do things with and my friendship is obviously not valued very much. Maybe I'm boring, maybe I thought we were a lot closer than we actually were. My next thought was 'did I do something wrong?' I have been wrecking my head trying to figure out what it is I did. Focusing in on the most minuscule of details, conversations we had, things I may have said, anything that I have done that may have offended her.
Then, I start making a big deal of the smallest things that 'prove' she doesn't like me any more like the fact that she hasn't even bothered to open the snap chat I sent her days ago whilst she clearly has been on snap chat since her score has been going up (yup I get that obsessed!)
But when it comes down to it, I know in my heart that I have done nothing wrong. In fact I have been an amazing friend. On new years eve I went out with her despite not really wanting to and I promised I would stay with her if she didn't get in as she had lost her ID. I'm the only one who offered this! It is so easy to think that you are too boring, or you're a generally crappy person but one thing I know is true is the fun we have together, the laughs, conversations and moments we shared.
So what could it be, if I have done nothing? Well, the point of this post is to highlight that in situations like this we probably shouldn't convince ourselves that the problem is with us. We shouldn't focus on ourselves. Jo's blog post helped me realise this. There is a whole lot of reasons why someone might be distant. You never really know what is going on in someone else's life. Maybe she has been extremely busy all Christmas. Maybe she just never felt like leaving the house and coming to see me. Maybe she's feeling down these past few weeks and doesn't want company. Maybe she's hating university and is in a bad place right now. Maybe she has so much more important things on her mind right now. I hope not to all of these things but what I'm trying to say is we never know what someone is going through. There are a so many variables in someone's life.
Let's try to go easy on ourselves. Believe we are good enough for everyone and no matter who you are your friendship is always something that should be valued.
That's what I am trying to do. So I'm not going to be mad at her for 'ignoring' me. I'm going to be understanding because life is crazy and unpredictable and I will always be here for her.