A Lesson Learned - Life Always Goes On
It's 1am and I am wide awake. I'm sitting in my bed skimming trough some of my favourite blogs and I am in one of those reflective moods where I am thinking about everything that has happened to me this past year. A lot has happened, I have done so much, I have had so many new experiences. So many people have came in to my life and some of them have left it again. Through all of these changes, events and experiences I honestly believe I have grown up so much. Everything they say is true "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", "the older you get the wiser you get", now I am still only 21 so I am sure I have a lot to learn but I am 10 times wiser now than when I was 20.
Rewind back to August 28th 2013. Something big happened in my life. At least, I thought it was big at the time. Someone left my life, someone who had been there for three and a half years, someone who was my best friend and my everything and in one day, one moment, one conversation we cut each other off from our lives. I didn't know how I was going to cope. I couldn't imagine a life without him, it was incomprehensible to me. People told me "you will be fine", "you will move on", "there will be others" but I honestly did not believe them. I couldn't imagine ever moving on, or there ever being anyone else, I believed I would never be truly fine again. I cried myself to sleep every night for a week, feeling like my life was over.
It was not over. In fact, this past year has been
probably the best year of my life, and I never expected that. I never thought I could live such a great life and have so much fun without him. I have met so many wonderful people through college, teaching, and tag rugby some of whom will remain friends for life. Some of whom I had brisk but meaningful or at least memorable encounters with. I have met other boys. I have liked other boys an awful lot. I never thought I would. I have kissed others (and didn't think of him while doing it). I actually did move on. I thought it would be impossible but it wasn't.
I know my example of a relationship isn't very important, and worse things happen, but it was important to me at the time because I couldn't see the bigger picture then. Whatever it is, going through something tough, something you think is the end of your world can truly make you a stronger, wiser person. It is only ever the end of the world as you know it, there is always better to come.
So now, this summer, when my current, what I thought was 'love of my life' packed up his things and moved away making it very clear he had no desire to stay in contact, I didn't cry. Because now I know that life always goes on. It is not the most important thing in my life. I can still have an amazing time and be very happy. I will be OK, I will move on, there will be others and others after them and yes it's hard to believe that they will be better than him at the moment, but they will be, I am sure of it. How do I know this? Because I have taken this ride already.
I know a lot of you are younger than me, so I wanted to share this little life lesson I have learned this past year - life always goes on. Whatever it is, it won't last forever. The future is uncertain but it is always full of endless possibilities and you never know what amazing things lay around the corner. So don't assume that because your life sucks now, it will not get better. There is life beyond everything.
Is there anything you have learned about life lately that you would like to share in the comments? Sharing these more personal posts scares me a little bit but it helps me so much to consolidate my thoughts and understand this little brain and these feelings of mine! So I hope you don't mind my perhaps disjointed or ambiguous musings.